Breaking the News

Yesterday was a hard day. Annabelle and I left early to head to SickKids to get her covid test done. She’s a pro at them now so it was no big deal.

On our way home we stoped at Toy’s R Us to pick out an operation doll. Before we went in I pulled Annabelle on my lap in the front of the car and told her why we we’re getting this doll and that in a couple of days we would be going back to the ‘ big city’ as she calls it to see Dr. Kelley and he was going to help her leg grow big and strong. She took this pretty well but I’m sure the fact that I did it in the parking lot of a toy store has a big part in that!

While we drove home we talked about her friend Addie and how Addie had this operation. I also told her that there was a special package at home that Addie sent in the mail just for her. After Annabelle played with her new doll and we had lunch and haircuts it was time to open Addie’s gift. Lisa, her mom told me she had asked Addie what they could do to help Annabelle with her surgery and Addie said that Annabelle needed a doll with a cast and wheelchair just like she had. She said this really helped her have her doll with her every step of the way. I was blown away with how incredibly thoughtful this was. 

This gift was a great way to discuss more of the details of her surgery. It didn’t take her long to play with the cast and we began to talk about how she would have a cast. Well it wasn’t long before we could see the wheels turning and the flood gates opened. ‘ I do NOT want a cast,’ I will NOT wear a cast!!’ ‘Cameron doesn’t have to do this! Why do I?’ It was heartbreaking. We talked about how Dr. Kelley is going to help make her hip and leg really strong so she could run really fast and swim really fast and she was only going to have it for a little while. We told her she would get popsicles and was even allowed to have some of Daddy’s Gatorade- well that really helped!! She finally stopped crying and then started with some really great questions- ‘how will I sleep? How I will fit in my car seat? Will the cast cover my foot? How will I go to school?’ We walked her through all the answers and she started to feel better. I also brought out a unicorn fleece blanket for her to take to the hospital which she loved. 

During the day we talked about the hotel we’d be staying at the night before and all the things and snacks we need to pack. We referenced the books we had read during the week and how Franklin needed an operation to help fix his shell. For a four year old I think she handled it well. I felt relieved and completely mentally exhausted. 

This morning she woke up asking if today we were going to the hospital. I told her no but we would be having a special visitor today. My good friend and colleague Heather is a child life specialist at Hamilton Health Science and London Heath Sciences and came to visit to help talk about her operation and the ins and outs of the OR.

What an amazing visit we had. Heather is incredible and has such an amazing way of talking about very complicated things in a way that kids can understand. ‘Annabelle do you know how long your cast will be on? Until your bones heal!’ ‘Do you think it takes a long time or short time?’They practiced wearing a mask and Heather taught Annabelle how an I.V. works which she loved. They taped one to her doll and  talked about how she was going to sleep at the hospital and how it was important not to eat or drink anything before her surgery.  She was amazing and Annabelle loved it. My favourite part was when Heather pulled out a box of little wooden hearts. She told us each of us get a heart ( even Wrigley!) and that they are all linked to Annabelle. We would all be connected to her ❤️ ( Fiona may have taken and coloured way more than one lol). The kids all loved them- especially Cameron who went to bed with his. 

We told Cameron on Monday and at first was very upset but also had some very thoughtful questions and some very hard questions. ‘Is Annabelle going to be okay?’ ‘ What if she isn’t ok?’ ‘How do they get to the bone?’ ‘ Will it hurt?’ ‘Why did God give Annabelle a little leg?  Did He do this on purpose or was it an accident?’ Lots of big parenting moments this week for sure.

Tomorrow we are off to The Chelsea Hotel in the afternoon in prep for our early waking Monday morning! We are doing well but it’s been a mentally exhausting week and the anticipation has been hard to deal with. While I am anxious for the surgery I will let out a big sigh of relief when we can start our recovery road- although I know this will be challenging for completely different reasons.